Major-league idiots doing idiotic things

WARNING: Do not watch this video if you can't tolerate seeing pain.

To be honest, I barely got halfway through before I just closed the window. Hell, before that I was peeking through my fingers and crying out in shock. (A couple of the clips are worth a laugh, however.)

Even though I personally did not enjoy it, I feel that it is worth posting because often, we need to see the stupid mistakes of others in order to learn how NOT to do things. It makes me angry to know that many of these people are taking up space in hospital emergency rooms when people with truly unfortunate emergencies need medical attention as well.




http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/7X8sEB/stg.do/N5W/



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to watching America's Funniest Home Videos... much less horrific of an experience.

Marathon winner disqualified because he didn’t sign up for race

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/olympics-fourth-place-medal/marathon-winner-disqualified-because-didn-t-sign-race-014434559.html




I have very mixed feelings about this story, although overall it's a good one.

My first reaction is that I want to do a face-palm because he seriously should have let the officials know that he was racing in his friend's place, just in case there was an issue. On the other hand, his friend was registered fair and square, so why not allow a substitution?

However, I also would like to give the man some kind of award for accepting his mistake so gracefully. Often it feels like most adults would throw a fit over something like this.

Kudos?... or should we be passing him the Stupid Helmet?

Church ladies with computers

One of my favorite types of e-mails to get. XD




Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with computers. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

--------------------------

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

--------------------------

The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.

The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.

--------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

--------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

--------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

--------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--------------------------

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

--------------------------

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

--------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

How the times have changed...

Some of these changes I've witnessed through my life, others no. However, they never cease to amaze me... funny, but pretty depressing as well.

Spoiled rotten kids who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-who-didnt-get-what-they-wanted-for-christm



Alrighty, this is nothing short of disgusting. The parents of these kids might have screwed up royally, but in large part these monsters are a product of our materialistic society. Fantabulous. Am I the only person who DIDN'T want a car or iPhone for Christmas?

Screw this auto cucumber!

Bahahahahaha. Damn You, Auto Correct! is by far one of the funniest websites I've ever seen. Unfortunately, it's so easy to get sucked into it that I generally don't pay it visits. However, someone posted a link to the top 25 auto corrects, so I could totally deal with that. Enjoy!!!



http://damnyouautocorrect.com/13603/the-25-funniest-autocorrects-of-dyacs-first-year/

Scottish construction workers

Huh, I never see them anywhere. I wonder why?...




http://youtu.be/v_OQWIi7g9s

Your school photos were never THIS bad...

Bahahaha. Here is one of those websites that eats your life. But I love it.

Woooooot mullets! Laser backgrounds! Bad quotes! Prom queens posing with farm animals!



http://www.awkwardschoolpictures.com/



I love how it looks like a time capsule... until you see a lame photo from last year. YES. Bahahaha again.

Oh Cleveland!...

From a friend in Ohio. Although I'd like to add that I actually like the Free Stamp.




http://youtu.be/ysmLA5TqbIY



http://youtu.be/oZzgAjjuqZM

^Can't embed the second one, though. Sorry!

Employers won't hire you if you post this on your Facebook

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/10/what-you-shouldnt-post-on-your-facebook-page-if-you-want-a-job/246093/



I think that this is all pretty obvious stuff... just use your common sense! Gah, common sense. It's dying, I swear. It seems to me that a lot of people have honestly forgotten that there are consequences to posting anything on the internet. It's become such an essential basic in our daily lives that the publicity of it has lost its shock value.

Stop being complacent and open up your brain! Hopefully it'll help you get a job!

How to feel more productive

THIS:



http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-stick-to-your-new-years.html



Hey, I didn't say that you would BE more producive.

Although if I looked outside and saw wild turkeys, I'd definitely consider it an accomplishment. Wild turkeys don't live here.

NEED DRIT and other signs

http://www.happyplace.com/4286/brilliantly-sarcastic-responses-to-completely-well-meaning-signs



There is nothing like vandalism that is so funny and cheerful that it causes you to forget that it's, well... vandalism.

I hope these improve your day!

Yeah, about those "dangerous" dogs...

http://www.nationalcanineresearchcouncil.com/blog/new-study-finds-banned-breeds-no-more-aggressive-than-any-others/



I'd like to buy the article to read the rest, but that's not happening right now, unfortunately. But once again, this is a reminder that we humans have a responsibility to treat other creatures with love and respect if we want to get the same in return. It's not just dogs-- you hear about people who abuse and kill cats? I've heard the excuse, "it was a mean cat". Well, if you're the type of person who finds it okay to kill an animal for being mean, then you probably weren't taking proper care of it to begin with.

Turn on your mental light bulb, people.

Wen markiting fales

As a linguistics geek, I love mistranslations. If you've never seen engrish.com, you really should check it out.

I've seen a number of these failed marketing stories before, though I'm not sure how true they are. A phrase that I will never forget as long as I live is "Bite the wax tadpole". Inspiring, no?



http://www.leehopkins.net/2006/09/14/they-may-be-true-they-may-be-false-they-make-great-reading/

Summer in the Pacific Northwest

Unfortunately this picture was posted on Imgur with no photographer listed, so I also can't credit it to anyone, but it's so damn true. Most of the country is frying like a slice of French toast, while Washington and Oregon are pulling on their sweaters. Oi.

Woof! Woof! Woo--mmmmeow?

Bahahaha, that's exactly what this is. A cat caught barking. God, I love cats.




http://youtu.be/aP3gzee1cps

Be a man and camp with other men who are men

Hehehe. Craigslist can be a very useful resource, as well as a good place to find a laugh. For instance, go check out photos of couches and love seats in the Free section... oi, some of those things are awful.

I didn't know this, but there's this "Best of Craigslist" page with the craziest posts to date. The one that my friend posted a link to is here--



http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/2370048082.html



Hey, if the guys want to do a manly camping trip, sounds awesome. Putting stuff in all-caps made me giggle. And, of course, led me to the rest of the "Best of" selections.

Enjoy!

Spokesperson fail

This guy speaks for himself. Which is probably not good news for his employer.



http://www.hutton-web-design.co.uk/tanker.html

*Totally not recommending these*

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THESE HOME REMEDIES AT HOME.


1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - Triflow and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the Triflow. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Presidential hopefuls should make us feel warm and fuzzy inside...

...or, you know, like face-palming ourselves. Whatever.

I've heard of plenty of people doing this sort of thing before, like Ann Curry while giving a speech at a college, I believe. But still, even if you think you know the facts, you want to make sure you sound knowledgeable. Sooo... checking up on your info probably isn't a bad plan.

Michele Bachmann, the next Pres? Hmmm.



http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2011/06/michele-bachmann-confuses-john-wayne-gacy-with-the-duke.html




http://youtu.be/PsLfL9vMaUY