Quotes I

I call this "I" because I'm sure that there will be more. Yeah, you can pretty much find every semi-famour quote ever spoken somewhere on the internet, but I love them and will continue to spread them. You never know when you might find your life-long mantra!




The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

~Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)



A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.

~Edmond de Goncourt (1822 - 1896)



Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

~Anonymous



Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.

~Leo Rosten (1908 - )



This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

~Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)




The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.

~Bill Cosby (1937 - )



Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons.

~unknown, Popular Mechanics, March 1949



When you think of the long and gloomy history of man, you will find more hideous crimes have been committed in the name of obedience than have ever been committed in the name of rebellion.

~C. P. Snow (1905 - 1980)



I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

~Steven Wright (1955 - )



The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.

~Maureen Murphy



Reality continues to ruin my life.

~Bill Watterson (1958 - ), Calvin and Hobbes



Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.

~Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), The Importance of Being Earnest, Act 3



Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

~Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)



University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

~Henry Kissinger (1923 - )



I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.

~Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)



To read a newspaper is to refrain from reading something worthwhile. The first discipline of education must therefore be to refuse resolutely to feed the mind with canned chatter.

~Aleister Crowley (1875 - 1947)



Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

~Gallagher



The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer.

~From the 1985 movie "Bliss"



Communism is like one big phone company.

~Lenny Bruce (1923 - 1966)



Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

~Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)



Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down.

~Hector Berlioz (1803 - 1869)



Spare no expense to save money on this one.

~Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)



A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

~Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)



Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

~E. Joseph Cossman



As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

~Dick Cavett (1936 - )